I came to know about this new guideline for tourists in Rajasthan via India Mike discussion. The original story can be found at BBC news website at:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4474528.stm
I am quoting directly from the site below and you can find many more pearls of wisdom in the piece. The emphasis on ‘moral laxity’ in the last point below is mine! I could not help it.
- “Men should never touch women in public, even to help a woman out of a car, unless the lady is very elderly or infirm
- In Indian culture… men socialise with men, and women with women …
- Drinking alcohol or smoking in public, no matter how innocent, are interpreted as a sign of moral laxity and are not acceptable.”
Well, I do not smoke and it would be stretching it a lot if I say I take alcohol, but there have been times when I am not averse of taking a glass in some restaurant or more frequently a sip from my husband’s, and I am guilty on every other count.
I often hold hands with my husband, heck I even put my hand around the waist of my two teenage nephews (who are six foot tall) and I hold hands even with my father occasionally.
I socialize with so many men. In fact, after my college is over (where I teach) five of us play table tennis. Four of them are men and I am the only woman. And now I am morally lax too because I do drink occasionally! It is another matter that wine is so expensive in these restaurants that I prefer to spend the money on a delicious bowl of soup, and please make it mushroom.
The incidents quoted in the story in Rajasthan are a bit stark (the lady walking nude must have been shocking) but the guidelines are hilarious! And I am guilty on every count.
Lily let that story not scare you on your trip to India, when I picked up my husband (who was away for 15 days on some office work in London) from the airport this Saturday, I did put my hands around him (OK briefly), and no one there gave a damn.
I wonder if the people who wrote the guidelines ever watched MTV or Channel V recently? Or took a stroll around a college campus?
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{ 31 comments… read them below or add one }
These guidelines are good to give foreign visiotors to understand Indian culture and trditional values. But the important thing is how much effective is these limitations on the tourists. Accoridng to me these should be implemented to all parts of the country.Tour operators can play an important role in implemeting these laws by giving directions for the tourists. If they are not effective in this law will never going to be successfully implemented.We offer tourism and travel services to the tourist visiting to India. We are careful in giving the tourists an idea about the traditional values of ancient India and if you visit our website your can see that we are not a travel tour operator but our effort is to give the visitors an idea about the ancient India.We don’t allow any tourists to miss out any traditional places in Rajasthan. You can even enjoy the traditional rajasthani rural house food. This will include rotis, curries, ghee and other assortments. You can also get more information about our tour packages here http://www.rajasthandiary.comregards,aneesh
Chetan, I have to grant you another thing, I should have been more mature in my discussions with you. I will try to do better the next time.
And I am within my rigths to say the document stinks! Thanks for the input about the beach guidelines.
I feel that the city of Ajmer is within it’s rights to publish such a document informing tourists of the acceptable standards of dress and behaviour in their town. Similarly, Palm Beach Florida or Venice Beach California is within it’s rights to publish a similar document informing Indian tourists that long polyester pants, long sleeved shirts as well as long sarees and salwar-kameez are neither weather nor beach appropriate attire and if they wish to blend in with the natives of America on a sunny beach day when temperature reaches 98 degrees and higher, they would do well to don bathing suits or at least shorts and T-shirts.No double standards!What is good for the goose is good for the gander baby!In India I have seen most foreign tourists bending over backwards to blend in with the locals. Most foreign female tourists wear salwar-kameez or at least long kameez with jeans. I do not see the same amongst saree clad Indian female tourists in the west though.
This must be the highest number of anonymous comments on one single post of mine! Please do whatever you want, little do I care. You don’t have to justify it to meof all people!It is another matter that I do hold hand with my nephews, my dad and my husband, heck even a few good friends. If that bothers you or anyone else or some guidelines, too bad.
I would sure help a physcally infirm person out of a car irrespective of sex (not prohibited by guidelines). Others can get out of a car on their own.Thankfully I do a lot of socializing with person from the opposite sex without holding hands, or kissing or embracing. The gift of gab is the most powerful tool for socializing and that is not prohibited by the guidelines as well.
Anonymous, please do not help anyone out of the car too. Socialize only with people of your own sex, as the guideline says.
After going through this post and the comments I was curious as to what guide books say about the situation in India. So I cracked my trusted Footprints India Handbook (which is published in UK). Here is a short blurb.”How you dress is mostly how people judge you. .. Scanty tight clothing draws unwanted attention. Nudity is not permitted on beaches in India… it causes much offence. Displays of intimacy are not considered suitable in public” After Footprints, I thought I might as well crack open Rough Guides guide to South India (again published in UK). Here is what it has to say”Kissing and embracing are regarded in India as part of sex: do not do them in public. Is is not even a good idea for couples to hold hands…. It is always best to dress modeslty whenever in public – a salwar kameez is perfect or baggy clothing – and refrain from smoking and drinking in public”Looks like the Ajmer administration is reiterating what popular guide books say about India anyway.
Chetan, I have to grant you something, you said whatever is to be said in your own name, not hiding behind anonymous. I toally agree with you that Charu made a great observation. That is how lousey the language used is. Anyone who agrees with the guidelines and the language used, please follow them. I do not and hence I wrote this. Any problems?
Great summarising Chetan – whichever country you are in you have to take into account the ground realities and behave accordingly. I get much more out of travel when I am trying to blend in to the best of my ability and not trying to attract attention to myself through my attire or behaviour.
I think the smartest comment here belongs to Charu. Hats off! Amazing, witty and pertinent observation that.As to where the present state of Indian culture is, is not the issue here at all. Mridula, none of the dissenting commentators have ever said anything about Indian culture being a ‘higher culture,’ and neither has the Ajmer administration said so. In fact it is precisely because of the reality that you yourself admitted exists in India regarding how many Indians males treat women that those guidelines may not be such a bad idea, as they warn the tourists of the existing realities. We can take issue with their language and their rabid generalisations, but to say that merely by passing guidelines the Ajmer administration is being antiquated as you seem to suggest in your headline ‘in which era?’ is simply denying ground realities as those issues exist in today’s Indian society. However unpleasant and unacceptable and despicable and reprehensible they may be for you, me and millions of other similar thinking Indians, they nevertheless exist and the guidelines are merely pointing their existance to the foreigners so that they dont get into unecessary trouble.
That depends on which part of which country you are in at 2 at night – try being at the Greyhound bus terminal in downtown Los Angeles at 2am and see if the people striking up conversation are at all friendly. In India too being out at 2am in Delhi and being out at 2am in Bangalore are totally different situations. So painting a culture with a broad brush is nonsensical.
Second anonymous has answered the first anonymous? Well, read Charu’s comment too, she made a great observation!And for that matter I too have been to four different countries and felt safe at 2 in night, even when people tried to strike a conversation, because in those cultures no meant a no. Here, if it is beyond seven in the evening and I am not home, everyone is worried and tense and I have to call them to assure that I am just getting late.
Mridul, you’re so right when you say in India they don’t help ladies out of cars but rather molest them in public transport and claim high culture.I think the pressing need of the day is to distribute pamphlets to local Indian men with guidelines on how to treat foriegn female tourists (and local women) with respect!
What is common courtesy depends on which country you are in. In Japan for example it is not at all common courtesy to open doors for women – in fact women would open the door for a man or balk at passing through a door when a man is holding it open for her. Molestation of women is despicable under any circumstances and the guidelins do not claim that is great culture. Thankfully not holding the door open is not molestation and the guidelines do not tell you to molest somebody – just tells you to be sensitive to the local culture. And after being in four very different countries and widely travelled in all four of them I can say that is very good advise.
Excellent observation Charu!
“In Indian culture… men socialise with men, and women with women …” – in other cultures, such couples are frowned upon and have to constantly keep fighting for their rights as minority groups
but this whole code is too funny! wonder how one innocently smokes or drinks alcohol!
Anonymous, I always thought opening the doors for a lady is a common courtesy! How mistaken I am! In India we do not open car doors and give a hand to lady, we molest them in buses on a daily basis and then we say we have a great culture.When I for the first time boarded a packed metro in Singapore, I was so surprised that everyone tiptoed around me! Now that is something great and wonderful about Singapore. Can never say the same about a crowded bus in India?But by writing this post I have realized one thing, there are many people who are not so shocked by the guidelines! That surprises me.
Just wondering – why would a lady want to be helped out of a car unless she is physically infirm in some way. If she is physically infirm I think it would be quite okay in spite of the taboo on physical display of affection. More often than not foriegners get in trouble because of unwarranted display of physical affection not for helping people who cannot get out of the car on their own. And I think that is what the guideline is all about.
Chetan please follow those guidelines the next time you visit Rajasthan.
Since you have stayed there you know better. The thing about their culture is a subjective issue. In spite of what we would like to believe and want the Indian society to go in that direction, the reality is lagging far behind. Yes, it ought to be corrected. I never suggested that we should harbour a cultural or spiritual superiority complex. In fact my personal views lifestyle and values completely contradict the article. The thing about inferiority was just something I thought of questioning because just like you, my first reaction after reading the article was that this is plain stupid. And I still think its stupid. I was just trying to probe the issue from the other side.Read this well-written post about the Indian reality of women and men fraternising separately on college tours. And this in the state of Kerala that has the highest literacy and much more penetration of channel V and MTV. Sad though the state of affairs are, they exist.The guideline talked about “interpreted as a sign of moral laxity,” yet you chose to react only to the last two words. The guideline isn’t saying that a person is morally lax if he/she consumes alcohol in public as you insinuate. It just says that given the local sensitivities there is a likelihood of this being interpreted as a morally lax behaviour. This I think is more for protecting the tourists themselves, to avoid somebody hitting on them just because they are drunk. Like it or not it happens to be true that Indian men look at a drunk woman as someone ‘available.’ This happens even in pubs in cosmopolitan cities, let alone Rajasthan. The guideline is pointing to the obvious. “I wonder if the people who wrote the guidelines ever watched MTV or Channel V recently?” You are talking about the local Ajmer administration here. Do you honestly expect them to be watching channel V and MTV to get their cues about the prevalent social norms in Ajmer?
“Condescending to them about their culture will only provoke an even adverse reaction.”Chetan, the guideline is some official mumbo-jombo, not their culture. The culture as far as I know is quite OK in the bigger touristy cities. I studied for five years in Rajasthan for my graduation and post-graduation.
Abhay, India is definitely changing, but the official guidelines are not!Chetan, inferiority complex? Bah! Nor do I have a cultural or spiritual superiority complex.
The BBC article explicitly states that these are just guidelines. There is no legal restriction or fines or jail. They aren’t prohibiting tourists, merely advising them. I think there is no harm in publishing guidelines. The tourist is free to flaunt them if he/she deems fit without any hassles, apart from those he/she might face from the local population. Even from a marketing perspective this might help improve tourism as locals may not balk and react adversely by trying to protect their culture by banning tourism altogether or for that matter look at the tourists condescendingly for their ‘lack of moral values.’ Besides tourism isn’t about fostering a melting pot culture. It is about getting a flavour of the place. And I don’t see any reason why the place should change its social norms to accommodate the tourists. One might argue that from a marketing perspective this might not make sense and that you are making it difficult for the customer. But a tourist is not your regular costumer. He/she is there to experience the exotic. In fact, packaging the experience smartly by allowing them to live the way locals do for 4-5 days might be a better marketing strategy.The next thing I will say may be very touchy. I am not saying that this is true, but just as a matter of conjecture I will say it. We need to reflect whether part of this stems from our inferiority complex vis-a-vis western culture. If this were the other way round, and tomorrow a lot of tourists from India started visiting the United States and while walking around in public gardens begin plucking flowers or shouting out to each other in public places or go to a national park split in groups and start playing antakshari or do something that goes against the accepted normal behaviour in the U.S., then do you think the Americans wont post any guidelines? I think they may consider imposing a fine. That no Indian will do such a thing is because we immediately consider the social norms of a western country as innately superior and therefore try to be as discrete about our own wants and sensibilities. That is not to say that we should go ahead and start playing screaming songs at top of our lungs when visiting Yellowstone or Shenandoah, (those Grizzlies and the Deer might file a lawsuit) but just as we automatically respect others’ customs and social norms why is it so wrong to expect Western tourists to respect ours?Yes, Rajasthan’s customs may be antiquated. As educated, well-read people we might find them unacceptable in today’s egalitarian world and would like them to change. I would love to see that happen too. But I think we should let the change stem from within. When the young men and women in Rajasthan are more educated I am sure they will come to the same conclusion that we do regarding acceptance of display of public affection. These should be debated and discussed in the community rather than being forced down their throats by asking them to be ‘tolerant.’ Why can’t we be a bit more tolerant of their intolerance? Let the Rajasthani people make the choice rather than us telling them that by they are shaming us by not being accommodating of western culture. Condescending to them about their culture will only provoke an even adverse reaction.
I think these guideliness are meant for rural areas which are very conservativeI knew someone from Kashmirand they were so strict about men/women mixing that he hardly evensaw his own motherForget about getting to know herHis mother was almost never allowed to get out of his house He was quite affluent and when I stayed in his house for 5 days I hardly even saw his mother once or any of his female siblings even though we were all in the same houseWe still live in a country where hindu women cover their heads with their saree pallu and muslim women wear burqawhen outside(rural areas)Further more there is this whole wrong notion emforced by films and television media among rural indians that all foreigners are morally laxBut India is changing
Pooja, I do not know, some people tend to take it quite seriously. And ‘moral laxity’ is not the kind of word I would like to see in a guideline.Teri, that is quite possible, that it is the view of a few morons.Lily, I guess most of us are intelligent enough to scan the environment and behave accordingly. I would love to hear how useful or realistic this guideline sounded to you after you are back from the trip.Padmini, I would say being bindas will not work in many places, but not helping a lady out of a car? Where do you think it is not going to work?Anonymous, there can be many ways of showing affection in public. Once I was travelling from Venice (Mestre) to Bologna and a couple were glued to each other for 15 minutes while saying good bye. Now that certainly would not work in India, but not helping a lady out of the car, as the guideline says?Those of us, who have been to the spots where honeymooning couples descend (manali, Nanital and the like), have you ever noticed the affection they display? Been to the malls lately in any of the metros?
It pays to be safe rather than sorry in a country with a corrupt and non-functional police force. Public display of affection is still pretty much taboo all over India.
I think I’m slightly ambivalent about these ‘rules’ – while they do seem slightly excessive, they’re not entirely out of place. While in urban centres in India, sights of public affection etc. are increasingly common, that’s certainly not the case all over the country. I also think that being obviously ‘foreign’ in India will draw attention, and often of the unwelcome kind. While I was dating a Bengali guy in Calcutta, I was pretty bindaas about physical affection in public, but now that I’m going back with my British (white) husband, I think I will be slightly more restrained, because I do feel that the Indian authorities (and public) can exploit these situations and things have the potential to turn ugly.
Thanks for the perspective, Mridula. I’ve heard bits and pieces of these guidelines and was wondering just how far they extend.My husband and I aren’t usually given to public displays of affection, but we do tend to hold hands in crowded areas so we don’t get separated. Neither of us are smokers or drinkers, so we’re okay there. And I can guarantee that I won’t be walking around naked anywhere. That would be a shocking sight here!
Maybe the person who wrote the guidelines wrote down his/her idealized behaviors? I’m off to read the BBC article now.
I just read the BBC article and had similar thoughts. Infact, me and my husband often hold hands in India – these guidelines seem pretty ancient to me. Good thing is they are just guidelines and not some code of conduct.