You Might Look Smart, But I’d Call You Stupid

I was disappointed to hear that wearing glasses can improve your chances of being hired, according to a recent British study.

Forty percent of people said they already do or would consider wearing spectacles they do not need “just to look the part and improve their chances of getting a job.”

Really. You’d consider it.

Well, thank you.  Thank you very much for screwing it up for the rest of us.

I’m so tired of this veil of professionalism, and it’s people like this that drive me crazy because all they’re doing is reinforcing the idea that to get a job you have to be anyone but yourself.

“Okay, so, kids, remember, when you go to your job interview, be sure to cover up the fact that you’re an individual with a personality as much as possible.  First off, forget whatever clothes you enjoy wearing – pick up a $300 suit instead so you look like everyone else.  Next, rehearse answers to theoretical questions that fail to project anything related to job performance. Carry a binder, too – that makes you look stout and ready to work.  And be sure to get your hair cut because no serious employee in their right mind would ever have hair touch the top of their ears.  I mean, seriously, how are you going to operate a computer if you’re wearing a hat all day?  And, finally, this just in from overseas: if you wear glasses, it shows the employer that you have bad eyesight, which he will conclude is the result of incessant reading, which obviously means you’re smart.”

Someone shoot me.