Somali Pirates Still Successful

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It seems we need you now more than ever, Rufio.

I read in the paper today about the American yacht that has been hijacked by Somali pirates.  I laughed when I read the lead, “A warship is shadowing a yacht with four Americans on board that was hijacked by Somali pirates…”

The laugh wasn’t meant as a form of insensitivity – it was merely a reaction to what a ridiculous world we inhabit. I suppose I simply don’t understand how pirates can still exist. A whale’s urine momentarily raises the water temperature in a remote section of the Arctic a half-degree and our scientists know about it – and yet these one-armed, wood-toothed wanderers somehow still routinely overtake vessels without a problem.

I think we should redirect some funds.

As if that wasn’t all the comedy my morning could handle, I went on to read General Kevin Chilton’s statements about a need for the United States to “better protect its satellites and strengthen its ability to use them as weapons as the uncharted battlefield of space becomes increasingly crowded and dangerous.”

So we can use a satellite as a weapon, but can’t stop pirates from decimating the parakeet population.

Right.

And when you read things like this and start to see how far we are expanding, you begin to realize how much trouble we’re in, how much trouble could be in store for us.

We have reached out to an unknown universe faster than we have united here on Earth.

Let’s just hope China has our back when we encounter our first alien race.

My only hope is that the United States can be the first settlers of Neptune and claim rights to it.

Do you have any idea how much Canada would pay for all that rink space?